a list of

things that would hurt you if i tried to explain them and i’m done with that. hurting you.

(alternatively: things you’ll never understand about me even if you tried. this may breed resentment.) 

Hausu (1977). elderberry syrup. Nonna teaching me how to make braciole. honestly- Carrie Underwood. Tennessee, barbecue sauce, a girl named Emily. the house we lived in when i was nine. the house we lived in when i was thirteen. curry on rice. the smell of burning wood, Macbeth, rest stops in the middle of Ohio. It Follows (2014). the seasonal spring lotion at Bath and Body Works. Old Spice deodorant, black India ink, eating an entire large pizza on the carpet. how i sprint up hills willing my body to collapse, how i called her five times and she never called back- the local laundromat, that cat i had as a kid that dad named after a cereal. he worked at General Mills.